4 Tips To Embrace Your Chronically Well Journey And Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others
Comparing your Chronically Well journey to someone else’s is like comparing apples and oranges.
Each person’s experience is unique, even when you have a similar diagnosis.
However, I think most of us at one time or another compare ourselves to other people, and are left feeling kind of lousy.
I recently had a humbling experience when I did not follow my own advice.
I compared my cardio health to other people. I looked at where my stationary bike efforts stacked up to the general population in the app that I use. And, I was left feeling inadequate. And, to make it even more silly, I compared myself to a population that probably does not include a lot of people rocking the cardiovascular damage that I have.
Have you ever done that?
Comparing yourself to others usually doesn’t feel great -especially when they are not working within the same parameters as you.
My Slippery Slope To Comparison
I have been working on incorporating regular cardio exercise into my wellness routine. It has been challenging over the last few months due to possible post-COVID exercise intolerance and a knee issue. Luckily, both situations have improved to a point where I am getting on a stationary bike several times a week.
Despite overcoming those roadblocks, I recently became frustrated with my cardio efforts because I started to focus on how I was performing compared to others. While my workouts have been consistent and an appropriate level of challenge for me, I noticed that what I am able to do during these sessions is below the average. My “output” and mileage is lower than what I see others doing.
Ignoring the fact that I know I do not have normal lung function, I was a little concerned about it. So, when I recently had a pulmonology appointment, I brought this up to my lung doctor. She kindly reminded me that it is a big deal that I am making steady efforts - and that I should keep going. She reminded me that I have “a lot going on” with my cardiovascular health due to damage from past cancer treatments. And, she reminded me that it is more important to put in a consistent effort to stay healthy rather than to focus on the results - or, what I can/can’t do compared to other people.
It’s funny because I remind my clients about this all the time. But, the truth is, I need to be reminded of this from time to time, too.
After this experience, I decided to share some tips for combatting the urge to compare yourself to others. I figured if me and my clients need the reminder, you might too. If you ever find yourself comparing yourself to others like I just did, I hope you keep the following tips in mind.
4 Tips To Embrace Your Chronically Well Journey And Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others
TIP ONE - Accept the parameters of what is realistic for you
What is right for you is not necessarily right for someone else - and vice versa. As you can see from my recent experience, it doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to anyone else when your circumstances are unique to you. Often, we are not all playing with the same deck of cards.
Accepting the parameters of your body is crucial to living your life in a way that works for YOU as you are now. As I wisely wrote in another blog post, “accepting my illness means that I accept the practicalities of it. It means that I recognize that what I need to show up everyday is different than what other people around me do. It is not right or wrong, it just is.”
I am grateful for the reminder that it is pretty pointless to compare myself to others because my body is playing by its own rules and I am working with what I have. Cheers to each of us for having realistic expectations of ourselves without concern about comparison.
For further discussion about accepting the parameters of chronic illness, check out This Blog Post where I shared the above wisdom.
TIP TWO - Realize that the effort itself can be more important than the result
When we regularly show up for our healthy habits, we typically reap benefits. And, because of this, consistent effort can be more important than the result.
For many of us, we won’t “cure” ourselves by working out or meditating. But, just because we might not cure ourselves does not mean that our underlying wellness should be neglected. We can bolster our underlying health and wellness with regular healthy practices!
For example, I know the end result of my stationary bike sessions will not cure the damage to my lungs because the damage is permanent. But, I also know that my consistent effort will help me to keep - and possibly improve - the cardiovascular health that I have.
To explore this idea further, check out my blog post Wellness Is Not All Or Nothing When You Have A Chronic Illness.
TIP THREE - Self-compassion Is a winner.
Having compassion for ourselves and our bodies is really important to creating space for realistic expectations.
I realize that when I compared myself to others, I was doing the exact opposite of having compassion for myself. I was not thinking about what is realistic for me. That set me up for creating unrealistic expectations of my body. I briefly forgot that giving myself (and my body) some grace is important to finding my unique way to live well with chronic illness.
It can be difficult to accept the parameters of living with chronic illness. And, this can lead to a lot of frustration. But, when we listen to our mind/body, we usually cannot go wrong. That allows us to find our unique balance with whatever we are hoping to do. And, it is okay that our effort might not look like someone else's.
With all the comparison to other people, I neglected to give myself credit for showing up for this habit 5 times a week. I mean, that is not exactly easy. I hope you are giving yourself credit for whatever you are doing to nurture your health and wellness. Your efforts are important and you deserve a little love for staying with it!
For related reading, check out my blog post about Chronic Illness, Self-Compassion And Living Shame-Free and my blog post about celebrating your efforts.
TIP FOUR - RECOGNIZE THAT MINDSET CAN IMPACT YOUR MOTIVATION
How we think about something can completely impact our outlook and behavior. This is important to realize because your mindset can impact whether you continue to show up for a healthy habit or let it fall by the wayside.
When I went to my doctor appointment, I was worried something was “wrong” and I was feeling inadequate. I could have easily felt demoralized and quit biking. But, after talking to my doctor, I turned my thought process around. I noticed what I could do given my circumstances. I felt proud of myself since I am doing so much better than I was years ago when I could not climb a flight of stairs without getting winded. And, looking at my cardio efforts from another perspective actually rekindled my commitment to getting on the bike 5 days a week.
For related reading about motivation, check out this BLOG POST.
Embrace an empowered mindset!
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After this experience, I am proud of myself for putting in the effort while listening to my body regarding what is right for me.
My efforts don’t look like the general population. But, I know that I am putting in the effort to get the amount of cardio exercise that is right for me while avoiding pushing myself too much. What other people can do has no place in that equation.
I am grateful that I was able to let go of comparing myself to what other people do in a half hour on a stationary bike - and recognize myself for what I can do. While I have parameters that I need to work within, I am choosing to focus on the effort and not the end result.
What about you? Do you compare yourself to other people?
If you could use a little reminder that the effort you put into living Chronically Well is important and should be celebrated - I hope this blog post was a helpful read.
If you could use more reminding, join the free 7 day program Chronically Well Mindset Program! All you need to do is subscribe to my weekly newsletter here and you will receive access.
The Chronically Well Mindset will give you the opportunity to:
Learn about the fundamentals of the Chronically Well Mindset;
Consider how the fundamentals might apply to your life; and
Open your mind to how incorporating the Chronically Well Mindset Fundamentals can help you to nurture yourself as you are everyday.
HOW CAN YOU EMBRACE THE UNIQUENESS OF YOUR chronically Well journey?
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