The Importance Of Accepting Chronic Illness - Even If You Aren't Happy About It
No matter how long most of us live with chronic illness, we frequently get reminded that what we want to do in a day may not be as realistic as we would hope.
Many of us spend some time and energy trying to ignore our illness and live a “normal” life - or, the life that suited us prior to living with chronic illness. It can be hard to fully accept that our lives may have fundamentally changed by decreased energy levels and unpredictable symptoms.
It can be difficult to make lifestyle choices and adjustments to work within our parameters.
However, accepting the parameters of our chronic illness can be crucial to living our lives in a way that works better for us as we are right now.
I’ll share with you how that works. But, first…
What Does It Mean To Accept The Practicalities Of Your Chronic Illness?
Interestingly, the dictionary definition of acceptance is “the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.”
Ummm. While I don’t remember any of us being given the chance to consent to “receive” chronic illness, we find ourselves here nonetheless. We are “undertaking” what has been “offered” to us. We are working with what we have.
When we accept the realities of our life with chronic illness, we are able to stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. We are able to take an inventory of what is working in our lives, and find where we might need to make some adjustments. By recognizing that it takes more for us to show up everyday, we are better able to feel empowered to work within the unique parameters that make sense for us as we are now.
To me, accepting my illness means that I accept the practicalities of it. It means that I recognize that what I need to show up everyday is different from what other people around me do. It is not right or wrong, it just is.
I know I need more sleep and rest. I know I need to be careful about what I eat. I know I need to refrain from pushing myself when my mind or body is tired. I know I need to go to more doctors more often. I recognize that what I need and want are unique to me and the best way to care for myself is to honor that the best I can.
However….
You Don’t Need To Like Your Chronic Illness To Accept It.
Accepting your illness does not necessarily mean being happy about it. While some of us are grateful for lessons learned from chronic illness, or how it gave us gifts like a sharper sense of humor, I don’t know how many of us would consider ourselves grateful or happy about our chronic illness experience. I will be the first to admit that I am not that evolved.
But, I can put aside my lack of love for cancer and autoimmune issues to accept that my lifestyle and priorities have needed some serious adjustment to adapt to life with chronic illness.
While we might not like or appreciate chronic illness, accepting it as it is helps us to respond in empowered ways that can nurture us. It allows us to see the reality of our situation and how our lifestyle is helping, or hindering, living Chronically Well. It may show what needs to be prioritized, reprioritized and/or restructured in your lifestyle based on what is going on in your life and health.
What Does Accepting The Practicalities of Chronic Illness Make Possible?
1. More Realistic Expectations
Accepting the impact chronic illness has on your life allows you to meet yourself where you are, and to have more realistic expectations of yourself.
It can be difficult to accept that you are not able to do everything you want in a day. This can lead to frustration related to trying to meet unrealistic expectations. The result is often pressure to “push through” symptoms - which almost always does not turn out well.
Accepting the practicalities of chronic illness requires a shift in mindset regarding how you think about the current reality of your situation. It requires an adjustment in expectations that may lead to making practical changes in your life.
For more info on setting realistic goals, check out this blog post.
2. Decreased Self-Criticism and Increased Self-Compassion
Accepting the practicalities of chronic illness can help tone down some of that self-criticism you may be experiencing. When you acknowledge what it takes for you to live your daily life, you may begin to notice that your expectations are not in alignment with your current parameters.
Frequently, what we can accomplish in a day looks entirely different than it did pre-illness. Holding yourself to standards that no longer quite fit your situation is unfair. When there is a disconnect between expectations and the reality of a situation the end result is usually stress. And, no one with chronic illness needs more of that.
Recognizing that you are doing the best you can with what you have can help to quiet the inner critic and open yourself up to having self-compassion. Having some patience with yourself (including your body), and giving yourself some grace, can get you closer to finding your chronic wellness balance.
For more info on self-compassion and living Chronically Well, check out this blog post.
3. Gives Space To Make Lifestyle Choices That Work Now
When you accept that you may be working with less “spoons” or less of a body budget than you used to, it might require making big changes in your day-to-day life. This highlights the importance of making intentional choices about where to spend your time and energy. It becomes more important to use your body budget on the things that matter most to you.
While it can be disappointing and frustrating to recognize your body budget limitations, it is empowering to realize that we can make choices and changes to our lifestyle that can significantly impact our quality of life with chronic illness.
I’ll bring out my mantra - Prioritize, Simplify, Delegate. By thinking through priorities, and simplifying and delegating where possible, you are better able to align your lifestyle with your current needs.
For more info on making supportive changes in your daily life, check out this blog post.
4. MOre open To listening to your mind/body
Accepting our illness gives us an opening to better listen to our bodies. When we acknowledge how we are feeling, it provides an opportunity to act accordingly.
It can be hard to realize that our body is not the enemy. But, when that happens, more opportunities to care for ourselves arise. We can start to give our body some credit for what it is enduring, and to treat it with kindness.
When we listen to our mind/body signals, we get a better sense of what we need (and don’t need!) on any given day. This helps us to make decisions and lifestyle changes that reflect what is most nurturing.
For more info
on balancing acceptance of the practicalities of chronic illness with hope for future healing, check out this blog post on the Chronic Wellness Balance.
Acceptance While Maintaining Hope.
While accepting the practicalities of chronic illness can be so important on a practical level, don’t let the “acceptance” part of it demoralize you. Just because you have certain limitations today, does not mean that you will not find your answers, healthcare providers, treatments, and lifestyle changes that will get you to a better balance with chronic illness in the future.
The point is to align yourself with your current needs, and possibly make some room for healing or a better Chronic Wellness Balance in the future.
What expectations do you have of yourself that no longer seem realistic to you?
How can you readjust those expectations to better reflect your current situation?
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