Reframing The Bad Words Of Chronic Illness Coaching
Many of us living with chronic illness loathe the words “accountability” and “goals.”
At the very least, the mention of these words will induce eye rolling.
But for someone who is doing their best to take care of themselves while living with chronic illness, these words can send shivers down their spine. These words sound too rigid, and maybe a little bit punitive.
I get it.
The thought of setting a wellness goal, and being held accountable to keep it up, sounds unreasonable when you are experiencing symptoms that may preclude you from being successful. It is demoralizing to be set up for failure.
The words “accountability” and “goal” feel inflexible, and a bit loaded with shame.
For example, if you want to add more movement into your week, but your pain or fatigue symptoms are holding you back from committing to a fixed practice, the words “accountability” and “goal” might stop you from even trying. Why bother when you are destined to fail?
Allow me to suggest a reframe…
If your “goal” feels too rigid and unrealistic to be held “accountable” for, then the underlying “goal” needs to be reworked.
Wellness goals for those of us living with chronic illness should bolster mental and physical health, not make us feel worse!
But, how do you create “goals”that are supportive and allow for symptoms to fluctuate? How do you hold yourself accountable when you need flexibility?
I’ll tell you how!
How To Create Supportive “Goals” and “Accountability” For Living Chronically Well - 4 Fundamentals
ONE - rework your “goals” so that they are flexible, realistic and supportive
Have you considered tailoring your goals to the type of day you are having? If you are having a relatively good day, you may feel up to much more than you would on a tough symptom day. Thinking through your expectations based on the type of day you are having can really help to tailor your goals to meet you where you are each day and avoid unnecessary pressure to keep up with something that is not supporting you.
This is a bit more nuanced than a traditional goal-setting approach. However, it works much better for those of us who are not fully in control of our symptoms. And, it alleviates some of the negative feelings that we may experience when our hopes or expectations are not in line with our reality.
For more information on how to create flexible and realistic goals when living with chronic illness, I explain it further in this blog post.
TWO - Create “Accountability” That Is Supportive Instead of Demoralizing
Accountability is a way to help you stay on course with whatever efforts you are making to implement or maintain a healthy practice in your life. Accountability can take different forms - reminders, tracking, etc. But, regardless of the form of accountability that you use, the point is for it to help keep you on track and to support you when you are facing challenges.
The Perks of Supportive Accountability:
Serves as a reminder to prioritize your goal/practice.
Is a mechanism to notice when your efforts are making a positive difference! It can be easy not to notice progress if you are not using some form of accountability. Noticing your progress can help to keep you motivated to keep going!
Is a means to ensure that whatever goal you are working on is supporting your underlying health and wellness.
It can also be a means to notice whether that goal needs to be reworked in order to better fit into your life.
If done well, accountability is less about shame and punishment and more about supporting you and making sure that your efforts are paying off!
I write more about accountability and setting goals in this blog post.
THREE - Create A Mindset of Self-Compassion That Allows For Imperfection
Fundamental to any goal and accountability is making room for the fact that you are human and your goal or practice will not be implemented with perfection everyday. Neither the human condition or a chronic condition are conducive to perfection. Therefore, we need to give ourselves allowances.
In my opinion, it works a lot better to anticipate that not every day will be rainbows and sunshine. When you think about the fact that you will experience rough symptom days and that your priorities may shift as a result, it helps to know that you have a plan for that kind of day. You may plan to modify your movement expectation to align with what will serve you best that day. You may give yourself a pass on any movement at all.
And, the good news is that if you need to take a break from a goal to tend to your health, you can always get back to it when you feel up for it. You can always modify your practices in a way that nurtures you as you are today.
Simply acknowledging that you will not perfectly implement a practice or goal helps to take the sting out of it when it happens.
For more discussion of self-compassion, check out this blog post.
FOUR - Use Accountability Tools That Work For YOU
Accountability tools do not need to be elaborate. They simply need to work for you.
Here are some options to consider:
What You Already Use
If you are already using calendar reminders, alarms, a journal, etc. to stay on top of your to-do list and appointments, try using the same thing to remind you to incorporate your healthy habit. This way, you are relying on a mechanism that is already comfortable and useful to you. There will be less effort on your part and it will more easily fit into your daily life.
Apps
There are many apps out there that help you track habits, nutrition, movement, etc. These can be great to keep track of something particular on your own.
However, I prefer to use my Chronically Well app because there is a human involved - me! The app walks you through flexible and realistic goal setting. And, it provides a way to track your progress over time.
I like that my clients and I can work together to tailor the app for each individual. Because there is no one-size-fits-all approach to living Chronically Well, we are able to co-create a program that compliments each client’s life, values and health.
And, I can be more responsive to a client’s needs by having the capability to make changes as we go since circumstances change!
There is just something more supportive knowing that an actual human is helping you keep track of what is going on, giving encouragement, and supporting you through any barriers that might pop up along the way.
Chronically Well Membership
To find out more about Chronically Well Membership Options, click here.
While “accountability” and “goals” may sound like bad words,
if they are used in ways that are supportive rather than punitive, they can end up being the key to your success in any practice or change in your life. They can help you to stay on course, to recognize your wins and see you progress.
How supportive are your goals and practices?
When you think about accountability as something that is supportive rather than punitive, does that make a difference in your approach?
Does this resonate?Please share this post with friends! Click the menu on the right to share on social media.
