Navigating Resilience With Chronic Illness
Living with a chronic illness often means rethinking the way you approach life’s challenges. It’s hard. It’s messy. And sometimes, it feels completely unfair.
But in the midst of the struggle, there’s a quiet strength many of us discover. It’s called resilience—not the Hollywood version of grace under pressure, but the real kind. The kind that says, “I’ll figure out how to keep going, even when it feels impossible.”
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re not “resilient enough,” you’re not alone. I would wager that anyone living with chronic illness has felt dejected and helpless.
But, don't give up!
Resilience is complex and deeply personal and you can make it happen in your life.
This post explores what building resilience with chronic illness really looks like, and how you can create a life that supports your well-being—without ignoring the hard truths.
What Resilience With Chronic Illness Really Is
Resilience isn’t about always being positive or pretending everything is fine. It’s about navigating adversity one small pivot at a time. With chronic illness, resilience shows up in ways you may not even recognize—like adjusting to new routines, reaching out for help, or setting boundaries that protect your health.
For me, resilience meant completely retooling my life after being diagnosed with lymphoma for the second time— as a new mom with an infant. I didn’t want to stop working, hire full-time childcare, or depend on others to bring meals. But I needed to. Survival required recalibrating my life, even in ways I resisted. That’s what resilience looked like for me—doing what was necessary, not what felt easy or ideal.
You can read more of my story HERE.
The Myths Of Resilience
Before we talk about ways to build resilience, it’s important to dispel a few misconceptions that may be holding you back.
Myth #1: Resilience is something you either have or don’t have.
Truth? Resilience isn’t a fixed personality trait. It is something that most of us don't employ unless we truly need to. So, don't doubt that you have what it takes to be resilient. It might just take some time.
Myth #2: Resilience is all up to you.
Sure, resilience involves personal effort, but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Social connections, community support, and other resources (like a health coach - wink) play a huge role in how we adapt. Feeling fragile or unmotivated isn’t a failure; it might just mean you need more support.
Myth #3: Resilience means staying upbeat all the time.
Resilience doesn’t erase negative emotions. You can feel resilient and still grieve, vent, or get frustrated. Being honest about how hard things are doesn’t cancel out your strength.
Building Resilience In Your Life
Resilience doesn’t look the same for everyone, but here are strategies to help you strengthen and sustain it as you manage your chronic illness.
1. focus on what you can do
Chronic illness often feels like a thief, robbing us of plans, energy, and abilities. While that loss is valid, focusing on what you can do brings clarity and a sense of empowerment.
I am not going to claim that you can cure your illness.
But, you likely can take steps to care for yourself in a way that bolsters your health and well-being. You can become proactive in making supportive choices in all aspects of your life and healthcare by taking decisive actions that align with the quality of life you aspire to.
For related reading, check out these other blog posts: Chronically Well Balance: Thriving On Your Own Terms and The most important thing you can do to live chronically well.
2. build a support network
Resilience flourishes in connection. Accepting help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you resourceful.
Lean on friends, family, or community when you need support. Sometimes, those around you just need clear guidance on how to help—so don’t be afraid to ask for specific things, like a drop-off meal or help with errands.
Seek out online communities and resources tailored to your condition. Learning from others in a similar situation can be helpful, even if your circumstances are a bit different.
Consider my mantra: Prioritize, Simplify, Delegate. Read more about this in my blog post Self-Advocacy In Daily Life With Chronic Illness.
3. cultivate flexibility
With chronic illness, plans often rock back and forth between what you want to do and what your body can handle. Honing flexibility in your mindset can reduce frustration and allow you space to prioritize your health. This will facilitate living a life that supports you as you are now.
If you wake up feeling worse than expected, practice shifting your focus to tasks that require less energy.
View setbacks as a reason to recalibrate, not a reason to give up.
For related reading, read THIS blog post that details 3 tips for prioritizing your health.
4. give yourself permission to feel the feelings
Toxic positivity has no place in chronic illness management. Acknowledge anger, sadness, or frustration—those emotions are valid and processing them is an important part of resilience.
Journal your thoughts as a way to release emotional tension.
If a good cry or a vent session is what you need, take it without guilt. Your feelings don’t negate your strength.
Consider finding support from a therapist or other mental health professional to help you navigate the intense feelings that can come up.
For related reading, click through to my blog posts: 6 Tips for Chronic illness burnout and Tips For When the Chronic Illness Journey Gets Rough.
5. find small joys in tough seasons
This doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff—it means looking for tiny moments of joy despite it.
Brew your favorite tea, curl up under a cozy blanket, or watch a show that makes you laugh.
Notice one thing each day that brings you comfort or makes you smile, and write it down. These small joys can create a ripple effect of positivity.
For more reasons to find moments of joy, I invite you to read these blog posts: why joy will help you live Chronically Well and Embracing Joy To Find Your Chronically Well Balance.
6. practice self-compassion
Be your own advocate and cheerleader. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can under incredible circumstances.
Replace judgmental thoughts (“I should handle this better”) with kinder ones (“I’m doing what I can, and that’s enough”).
Celebrate small wins, no matter how minor they seem—whether it’s getting out of bed, completing a task, or taking a rest when your body asked you to.
For related reading, I invite you to read these blog posts: chronic illness, self-compassion and living shame-free and Celebrating Your Wellness Wins - Why it is important to living chronically well.
7. Lean Into Professional Support
Sometimes, resilience means knowing when to ask for expert guidance.
Work with a therapist or other mental health professional who can help you process emotions, build coping skills, and foster long-term resilience.
Work with a board certified health and wellness coach (like me!) to help you navigate the practicalities of living well with chronic illness. Apply to work with me HERE.
Research tools or apps that make daily management easier, like medication reminders, symptom trackers, or guided meditation. (Note that Chronically Well will have some of these tools available soon!)
Explore what health coaching can do in my blog post, What is a health coach?
Need some support?
If you could use some help retooling the way you approach the challenges of chronic illness, consider working with me through my THRIVE coaching package!
Resilience doesn’t have to be pretty.
Resilience isn’t glamorous or perfectly composed—it’s personal and infinitely human. It’s about finding ways to show up for yourself when things get rough. Some days, resilience looks like asking for help. Other days, it means just making it through.
If you’re navigating chronic illness right now, know this—you are resilient. You’re adapting, growing, and navigating challenges in ways that demand extraordinary inner strength, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
When you think about resilience again, don’t look for the polished, Hollywood version. Instead, take a compassionate look in the mirror. That quiet, gritty determination? That’s resilience in its truest form.
If you’re ready to build more tools for your resilience toolkit, consider reaching out to me so we can help you identify strategies customized to your life. You don’t have to do this alone. Together, we can create a life that works for you.
Do you recognize resilience within yourself?
When faced with challenges, what strategies have helped you persevere and move forward?
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