Tips For When The Chronic Illness Journey Gets Rough
We know to expect bumps in the road on our chronic illness journey.
But, sometimes these bumps can make you feel like you are doing all you can just to survive. This can happen with a significant symptom flare, a new diagnosis, a life change - or, just about anything that might throw you off your Chronically Well game.
When this happens, please consider this post for some encouragement and supportive tips.
Sometimes it can be easy to forget how much we have to offer in terms of our knowledge of ourselves, our symptoms and the impact chronic illness has on the different areas of our lives. This post is meant as a reminder of how much you bring to the table in terms of expertise and knowledge of yourself.
5 Tips To Remember When The Journey Gets Rough
TIP One - Do what you need to do to get through the immediate challenge
There is nothing like a crisis to really force you to hone in on your priorities. When you are in survival mode, you truly can only do what it takes to get yourself through this time. That might mean radically prioritizing, delegating, reaching out for support, saying no to anything extra, etc.
Regardless of what this looks like for you, just keep it simple, and stick to the basics.
The other important practicality to consider is asking for the support you need to get through this immediate challenge. This might mean asking your healthcare provider for medical help. But, it also might look like asking friends or family to assist you with tasks that are difficult right now. It could also mean hiring someone to help with anything that could help you preserve your energy (i.e., food delivery, cleaning, etc.).
Tip two - Take a wide angle lens view
The chronic illness journey can be quite bumpy with lots of twists and turns. If it wasn’t such an unpleasant experience, everyone would be signing up for it. But, that is not the case. It is not easy, and no one I have ever met wants to go through it.
At the worst times, I like to look at what I am experiencing with a wide angle lens. When I am going through something difficult, scary or painful, taking a step back and seeing how it fits into the wider journey can be really helpful.
It helps to look at a rough patch as just that. Something rough that comes with the territory. It will end or evolve at some point soon.
This certainly doesn’t make all the negative things go away. But, it helps to put it into some type of perspective.
For example, there are days that I get really wiped out and I am not always sure why. When I don’t know why I am so fatigued, it is hard not to go down the rabbit hole of concern about what might be going on with me and cancer. But, when I step back, I notice that it is a big leap to take from fatigue to cancer if I am just fighting off a virus. That is when I realize this is just part of my journey. My immune system needs time, and I need to give myself space to rest and restore.
It is hard not to have a trigger response when you are accustomed to something that looks more like a worst case scenario. But, giving your body some time to get through the worst, and not expect yourself to do anything more than the bare minimum during that time, can do a lot in terms of maintaining perspective.
Tip three - Draw on Your personal strengths & experiences
Your personal strengths and experiences inform how you can navigate challenges - even if a particular challenge is unprecedented for you. You can use these strengths and experiences to navigate whatever you are facing. What are these for you?
We truly do not give ourselves enough credit for the strength, tenacity, and creativity that we have shown in the face of prior or current challenges. It doesn’t mean that the way we meet a challenge will be effortless and graceful. But, we each have our unique strengths. And, that is what makes each of us uniquely poised to find our own way.
For a deeper dive on using your personal strengths and experiences, check out this blog post.
Speaking of effortless and graceful,
Tip four - There is no “right” way to live with your illness other than your way
We don’t need to give ourselves a hard time if we are not the picture of serenity and gratitude when we are having the worst days of our lives. We are human. And, I don’t really know anyone who is perfectly poised and sunny when they feel awful.
If you are feeling like you are “doing it wrong,” my suggestion is to focus on self-compassion. You are going through a lot. You deserve a little space and grace to feel your feelings.
But, there is no “right way” other than what works for you.
You have unique values and circumstances. And, your personal experience with chronic illness is probably somewhat distinct - even from others with a similar diagnosis. That is why it is so important to recognize the importance of your own knowledge of your individual situation.
TIP Five - Tune Into Your Motivations
What I mean by this is to focus on what you enjoy most about your life - what brings you joy and purpose. These are the things you want to live for. Whether this is a hobby, family, friends, there is still a place for what makes you feel like yourself.
You might need to engage in these a little differently if symptoms are getting in the way. But, it is still important to remember who you are and what makes you happy - with or without illness. In addition, engaging in what brings us joy can truly give us a great distraction from symptoms and a moment to feel like ourselves.
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After The Worst Passes
When you catch your breath after this difficult time passes, then it makes sense to celebrate yourself for getting through it. The challenges that chronic illness can bring to our lives can be unlike any other. Give yourself some credit for what you have pulled yourself through.
After the smoke clears, you might consider focusing on what is within your control to change. You can dig in and think about what bigger changes you can make in your life or lifestyle and whether you need more or different support.
But, sometimes, you just need to get through today before you get to that. And, that is completely okay.
Whatever challenges you may be experiencing right now, I hope that you are able to tune into your motivations, your needs and your strengths to keep going. You got this!
And, of course, if you could use some support on getting through the practicalities of living Chronically Well, please reach out for ways to work with me.
How do you currently handle the rough patches of chronic illness? What is your motivation to get through those days?
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