Are You Being Too Hard On Yourself While Living With Chronic Illness?
Something that seems to be universally true of people living with chronic illness is that they are too hard on themselves.
Whether we question if we are doing the right things to manage our illness or whether we are having a hard time accepting the realistic parameters of what we can do in a day, I find that most of us come down too hard on ourselves at some point in our journey with chronic illness.
We don't tend to notice how much we are doing to care for ourselves! It takes a lot to coordinate medical care, self-care and day-to-day life. It simply takes more for us to show up for everyday life - more rest, more meds, more appointments and more thought in prioritizing where to spend our energy.
Because of this, it is important to be self-compassionate and to be mindful of what expectations you are placing on yourself.
In this blog post, I share some of the ways you might be being too hard on yourself and what you can do about it.
But, let's start with this - It is important to remember how amazing you are. You are enduring some difficult things and you deserve to recognize yourself for all that you do to stay afloat!
With that said, let's dig in.
The Need To Adjust Unrealistic Expectations
Living with a chronic illness can be an ongoing challenge, and adjusting your expectations of yourself is an important step towards nurturing self-compassion and living in alignment with what is going on with you and your health. It's common for our expectations to be shaped by the abilities we had in the past or influenced by societal pressures to "push through" and accomplish more. However, these influences may no longer align with your current parameters, which can lead to frustration and self-criticism.
Recognizing the Influence of Past Abilities and Societal Pressure
Many of us hold ourselves to the standards set by our former selves or societal norms, believing that we should still be able to achieve the same level of productivity or endurance. While this mindset might have served us before, it’s crucial to recognize when these expectations are no longer realistic due to changes in our health.
Society often glorifies the ability to power through adversity, but with chronic illness, this approach can do more harm than good. Pushing through symptoms might lead to more intense flare-ups or prolonged recovery times, ultimately hindering rather than helping your daily life.
Strategies for Setting Achievable Goals
Adapting to your current circumstances involves setting goals that respect your limitations while also challenging you in manageable ways. Here’s how you can start:
Assess Your Current Capabilities:
Take a realistic inventory of what you can achieve on a typical good day versus a challenging one. This understanding will help you set goals that are adaptable to your condition. Read more HERE.
Focus on Being Flexible With Your Expectations
Develop a range of plans (like Plans A, B, C, etc.) for different days based on your symptoms. This flexibility can prevent feelings of failure on tougher days and allow you to celebrate successes on better ones. Read more HERE.
Prioritize Self-Care and Rest:
Ensure your goals include time for rest and activities that restore your energy levels. Prioritizing your well-being is an achievement in itself. Read more HERE.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Allow yourself the grace to adjust your goals as needed. Self-compassion involves recognizing that making adjustments is a strength, not a weakness. Read more HERE.
By modifying your expectations to align with your current reality, you can create a more compassionate and empowering relationship with yourself. Remember, your value is not defined by your productivity or ability to meet outdated expectations.
The Importance of Sustainable Consistency
Living with chronic illness often demands a delicate balance between managing symptoms and maintaining a fulfilling lifestyle. One vital aspect often overlooked is the importance of sustainable consistency—finding a steady pace that supports long-term well-being without overwhelming yourself. In the pursuit of health, sometimes more is not better.
The Dangers of Pushing Too Hard
It's tempting to try everything when you're bombarded with advice on how to manage your condition. From new diets to exercise regimens, the options can be overwhelming. However, pushing yourself too hard in an attempt to "fix" everything can lead to setbacks. Overexertion might cause flare-ups, fatigue, or even burnout, making it harder to recover and maintain a balanced routine.
Tips for Creating a Balanced Routine
Prioritize Your Needs
Not all advice will work for you. Listen to your body and be selective about which suggestions you try. What's most important is finding what aligns with your unique situation and values.
Start Small
Instead of overhauling your lifestyle overnight, introduce changes gradually. Begin with small, manageable steps to build new habits without overwhelming yourself.
Practice Self-Compassion
We all run into setbacks. Allow yourself grace when things don't go as planned. Acknowledge your efforts and understand that every small step counts toward progress. (Link to self-compassion)
Set Realistic Goals
Set achievable, short-term goals that contribute to your long-term health objectives, and adjust as necessary. This approach prevents frustration and encourages motivation as you celebrate each success.
Establish Routines
Consistent routines can help manage energy levels and minimize stress. Create a daily schedule that includes time for rest, nourishment, movement, and relaxation.
By focusing on sustainable consistency, you can create a lifestyle that supports your health without compromising your well-being. Remember, you are the expert on your own needs. Trust your instincts and take incremental steps toward nurturing a fulfilling life.
For related reading, I invite you to read the following blog posts:
4 Tips For Finding Focus With Your Chronically Well Habits. READ HERE
How To "Just Do It" When Living with Chronic Illness. READ HERE
Ruthless Prioritization: The Good And Bad Of Finding Your Chronically Well Balance. READ HERE
The Challenge of Unnoticed Progress
Sometimes we can lose steam on wellness habits or other efforts when we don't recognize the progress we are making. The challenge of "seeing" progress can make it difficult to stay motivated and committed to your goals. But, just because you are not noticing the progress does not mean that it isn't happening!
The Slow and Steady Path
When living with chronic illness, we typically need to take small and realistic baby steps when it comes to wellness habits. Because the efforts are incremental, the slow accumulation of results might be hard to notice. Small changes might not seem significant day by day, but over time, they can accumulate into substantial improvements.
For example:
Gentle Exercise: Incorporating brief daily walks, light stretches or physical therapy can gradually enhance your mobility and reduce stiffness. You might not notice much change in a week. But, over time, you may find that your endurance or mobility improves.
Mindfulness Practices: Spending just five minutes a day practicing mindfulness or deep breathing can eventually lead to reduced stress levels and a clearer mind. You might not notice much right away, but after a month or so, you will probably will!
Recognizing these slow changes can be challenging, but it's crucial to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories. By understanding that wellness progress can be slow and taking steps to track and appreciate your achievements, you can stay motivated and focused on your long-term goals. Remember, every small step forward is a step towards wellness and a more balanced life.
For more reading about celebrating your wellness wins, I invite you to read THIS blog post.
Want to assess what you need to live well with chronic illness?
Accept my FREE 7-Day Chronic Wellness Challenge! Find out more HERE.
Living well with a chronic illness requires a delicate balance of realistic expectations, sustainable consistency and self-compassion.
By recognizing the necessity to meet yourself as you are and focus on small, achievable steps, you can cultivate a less fraught and more empowering life with chronic illness.
Just because progress is not immediately visible doesn't mean it's not happening. Celebrate those incremental wins, as they contribute significantly to your overall well-being. You've got the power to create a fulfilling lifestyle that respects your unique needs and pace.
If you're ready to take the next step on this empowering journey and explore personalized support, I invite you to consider working with me through Chronically Well or THRIVE. Together, we can tailor a plan that aligns with your wellness goals, ensuring every step forward is made with confidence and care. You're not alone in this—I'm here to walk this path with you.
Have you noticed that you are being too hard on yourself?
If so, what can you do to align your lifestyle to find more balance in life with chronic illness?
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