Prioritizing Your Health Is True Self-Advocacy
One of the reasons that living with chronic illness can be so tough is because of how it impacts the rest of your life.
On top of the inherent difficulties of living with chronic illness, we are usually faced with tough decisions that require us to reprioritize other parts of our lives - whether that be day-to-day responsibilities, work, social life, etc. These decisions can add a whole other layer of disappointment and difficulty.
However, most of us ultimately make these tough decisions to prioritize our health so that we can live lives that work for us.
That said, life with chronic illness doesn’t need to be less fulfilling. But, priorities may need to shift in order to prioritize our health.
In the event you are struggling with making your chronic illness fit into your life, here are 3 Tips For Finding YOUR Unique Way to Prioritize Your Health:
Tip 1: Notice
When something changes with your health and/or what you can accomplish in a day, you may begin to notice that other parts of your life are impacted. You might be so busy trying to keep your head above water that you don’t take the time to notice that you might be attempting to accomplish something that no longer works for you.
When life gets increasingly difficult and consistently hard to manage, it is a sign that something of a larger nature might need to change. This could mean noticing that you are consistently having a harder time fitting in certain responsibilities. Or, that you are experiencing more stress trying to balance your day-to-day life.
Noticing where you are experiencing the impact of changes in your health is so important. It will help you to make some important determinations about your plans and priorities going forward.
Tip 2: Feel The Feelings
It can be incredibly disappointing to notice that you may need to readjust or let go of something in your life that has been a priority.
I don’t think I am going out on a limb to say that most of us with chronic illness have felt a tremendous amount of disappointment and grief related to life plans that we needed to alter in order to accommodate our chronic illness.
In my opinion, I think that these difficult points in our journey can feel as bad, if not worse, than the illness itself - in the short-term. But, in the long-term, accepting the reality of our situation can lead to making game-changing decisions that allow us to get the most out of our lives.
I often think of a quote by Eckhardt Tolle when I notice that I, or someone I am working with, is having a hard time noticing that something really isn’t working anymore.
“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.” - Eckhart Tolle
That is really the root of the issue. It is simply hard to accept that the rules of the game may have changed, or that we prepped for the wrong journey.
I spent so much time wanting to be somewhere else - living a life that simply did not work for my health and well-being anymore. I was really trying to make things work. But, realistically, I could not proceed in the same way because the underlying framework had changed.
These realizations may take time. So, feel the feelings. Get help from others in your life or a trusted mental health professional as you work through it. It is not easy. But, you and your wellness are absolutely worth it!
And, then when you are ready....
Tip 3: Take Action
When you notice that your responsibilities and expectations are causing you to consistently stretch yourself too far - take some action! This typically means that it is time to:
Prioritize;
Simplify; and/or
Delegate.
I’m not saying this is easy. But, when you make adjustments in your responsibilities and expectations that more realistically reflect where you are right now, that can really help to alleviate some stresses - practically and emotionally.
Taking action to make your life and lifestyle work for you is TRUE SELF-ADVOCACY.
No one can tell you what your priorities are and how you are going to fit your chronic illness into your life. But, some deep self-reflection about what is most important to you can help you to gain some clarity. From there, you can sort out the practicalities.
You don’t need to do it alone. You can talk with your loved ones or a certified health coach to help figure out your action plan and how to implement it.
Want more info on prioritizing your health?
For more information on prioritizing, simplifying and delegating, read this blog post about self-advocacy in daily life.
My Experience
For years I tried to do *all the things* - mom, wife, lawyer, etc. and the wheels kept falling off the bus with respect to my health. I was in a cycle of exhausting myself, getting sick, and then sicker. Rinse and repeat.
What I was trying to do was simply too much for my body. So, I had to reprioritize. My priorities and corresponding decisions were unique to me. But, I had to own my decisions if I was going to break the cycle of overextending myself.
I let go of the idea of having another baby. I walked away from my career as a lawyer. I put most of my focus on my family and trying to “get healthy.” It sounds so easy to recount it now. But, at the time, I was devastated to give up the idea of having another child. I was disappointed to give up my legal career after spending so much time and effort on law school and building a career.
But, those were dreams I had when the ground rules were different for me. Once I had my second cancer diagnosis and treatment, the rules of my game changed.
Did it take me years to come to terms with that? Yes. Yes, it did.
But, if I had not learned all these lessons the hard way - over, and over again - I might not have made my way to finding my version of happiness and fulfillment WHILE living with chronic illness.
I had to accept that having another child would put too much stress on my body, and I was barely hanging on as I was.
I had to accept that I could not balance life with my illness, working as a lawyer and being a mom all at the same time.
I had to accept that I had a lot of work to do outside the doctor’s office to get myself healthier.
I had to accept that I needed to ask for help with some of my day-to-day tasks.
I had to accept that I needed less stress in my life.
While my story, circumstances and priorities are likely different from yours, I think those of us living with chronic illness can relate to the difficulty of making tough decisions in order to create a lifestyle that works for us as individuals - as we are, right now. Sometimes, these decisions are temporary - like pushing back a deadline, delegating some responsibilities or making an adjustment to your job. And, some are permanent - not having children or leaving a career.
But, I hope you recognize that you and your health are absolutely the most important things in this equation. And, once you have that clarity, some of these tough decisions might become a little easier.
How do your lifestyle choices help or hinder your path to living chronically well?
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