The 3 Stages Of Finding Your Chronically Well Balance
Finding your balance with chronic illness can be quite the journey.
Living with chronic illness can be a constant struggle. From managing symptoms to navigating appointments and treatments, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lost in the chaos of it all. And on top of that, there is also the desire to live a healthy and fulfilling life despite these challenges. That's where finding your Chronically Well balance comes in – a journey that takes you from feeling limited by your illness to thriving with it.
It may seem impossible at first, but as St. Francis of Assisi said,
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
So, if you're someone living with chronic illness who wants to feel more balance and empowerment, keep reading as we explore the three stages of finding your Chronically Well balance and how it can transform your life.
The 3 Stages Of Finding Your Chronically Well Balance
STage one - survival mode
When you are doing what is necessary to stay alive, get through a treatment, ride out a flare, or find a diagnosis, that can often look like survival mode. What happens during this time might not be sustainable long-term, but it gets you through the challenge at hand. It probably is not what you want your life to look like in the long-term. But, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
For example, when I was going through radiation treatment, I could not tolerate most foods towards the end of the treatment of my neck. The accumulation of radiation left me with fluorescent red burns to my skin. And, whatever was going on internally felt like it must be similar. It became incredibly uncomfortable to swallow food or drinks. As a result, I ate things that did not resemble a balanced diet at all.
I was looking to ingest calories in the least painful way possible. Solids became difficult. So, in order to keep on enough weight to continue treatment, I came to rely on milkshakes. By the end of treatment, I cried through the pain of drinking them.
The point is that I did what I needed to do to keep calories coming in so that I could finish treatment. I did not want to drag out treatment any longer. And, when my doctor told me we would need to stop if I continued to lose weight, I made my choice with determination to get through it the best way I could. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When you are in this stage - I hope that you don’t have any shame for having a survival instinct and doing what you need to do to get yourself through the tough times.
To learn about 5 tips for getting through the rough times of chronic illness, check out THIS blog post.
stage Two - Do what you can
The second stage does not look as dire as the first. You are no longer in a crisis and have more bandwidth to create a more nurturing and sustainable lifestyle. When you do what you can to support your chronic illness journey you are doing “what is possible.”
This means that you begin to meet yourself where you are and try to take steps toward making choices that support you. You are finding your way to a better balance with chronic illness. But, you might not be there yet. This is typically the stage when I start working with my clients - when they have the capacity to work on gaining clarity on their priorities and make choices that support their well-being.
Common things that happen during this time might be:
Finding healthcare providers or treatments to support your underlying health and wellness
Working on ways to nourish yourself in a manner that supports your health (food, hydration, movement, mindfulness/stress reduction, etc.)
Making lifestyle adjustments to account for life with chronic illness (responsibilities, home, work, etc.)
Advocating for what you need and want in your life and health
Finding ways to enjoy yourself
In my case, when I finished radiation treatment and the burns healed, I was able to start nourishing myself in a way that was more supportive to my health and more sustainable. I was able to put my milkshake diet behind me and start eating in a more balanced and nutritious way. I also slowly built up a cardio exercise routine to help build back some of my lung function. And, I turned my focus to enjoying my life - I saw friends, traveled, and did the things I missed most when I was going through treatment.
To read more about what to consider when creating your path to living Chronically Well, check out THIS blog post.
STAGE THREE - FIND YOUR CHRONICALLY WELL BALANCE
Imagine finding a way to live well with chronic illness (and maybe even achieve some amount of healing). It seems impossible to most people when you are experiencing Stage One. However, when you make steps forward to do “what is possible,” some of those steps can accumulate to “doing the impossible” and finding your Chronically Well balance. It certainly did for me.
When I was recovering from radiation and (years later) from chemo, I never imagined that I would have so many long-term and permanent side effects from cancer treatments. I also did not realize that I was rocking some underlying immune deficiencies and autoimmune issues that came to a head post-chemo. So, when all those were making my life miserable, I could not see a way out. I was following doctor's orders, and, yet, I was not feeling much better.
I slowly started to work on making changes in my life and healthcare to account for how I was in that moment, I was doing what I could - one step at a time. Over time, those efforts added up to something that I felt was impossible when this whole mess started - I found my way to a better Chronically Well balance.
I stopped having unrealistic expectations of what I could do in a day (for the most part!)
I found out about environmental triggers distracting my immune system and causing inflammation.
I found ways to support my underlying wellness.
I found ways to prioritize my health over my to-dos (and made hard choices as a result).
I “took the wheel” on my life and healthcare - and advocated for myself as necessary.
I prioritized what makes me happy and brings me meaning.
The result is that it has been almost 20 years since I have needed cancer treatment for my recurrent lymphoma, despite being assured that I would need treatment well before this mile-marker. I feel generally well and I have an active life. Honestly, I feel like I made something impossible happen in my health and quality of life.
Does this mean that I am fully healed and never get sick? No. I still get sick and have the same immune issues, cardiovascular damage, etc. However, I am much better off than I would have been had I not made adjustments to my healthcare, life and lifestyle. I have a better baseline. And, I know what I need to do to take care of myself when I get sick. It’s my version of a Chronically Well balance.
And, even more importantly, I have confidence that I can handle the dips better than I could before. It’s not so much about feeling like everything is perfect (because it never is). It is more about knowing that I have what it takes to meet the challenges of life with chronic illness and still live a fulfilling life.
That is what I work with my clients to achieve. We find the specific ways to navigate their unique path to finding what they need to reach their Chronically Well balance. It's about creating wellness and quality of life that supports you as you are right now. You deserve to live a fulfilling life!
To find out more about finding your Chronically Well balance read THIS blog post.
I invite you to consider where you are on the Chronically Well spectrum and to open yourself up to what could be possible for you. You might move back and forth between these stages as circumstances change in your life with chronic illness. However, the more wisdom and experience that you gain along the way will help you to move into a more balanced stage with more ease despite the challenges.
Want to find your balance?
I invite you to check out the CHRONICALLY WELL Membership. It’s a coaching membership, an app and a coach right in your pocket!
Living with chronic illness can often feel like an uphill battle, but it doesn’t need to be a constant struggle.
Through the three stages of finding your Chronically Well balance, you can go from feeling limited and overwhelmed to thriving and living a fulfilling life. It all starts with taking that first step, no matter how small or difficult it may seem.
If you're ready to start this journey towards your Chronically Well balance, I encourage you to take the leap and join me through my Chronically Well Coaching Membership where we will work together to transform your mindset, habits, and overall well-being.
Remember, living with chronic illness does not have to define you – instead, let it empower you to find your own unique balance and live life on your own terms.
What could be possible if you felt more balanced and empowered in your life with chronic illness?
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