How To Live With The Uncertainties of Chronic Illness
How To Find Your Path To Clarity And Focus When So Much Is Uncertain
I doubt there is a person with chronic illness who has not felt overwhelmed by the uncertainties of their illness.
The number of unknowns can be daunting. You might not know if you will ever get better, how to meet the challenges, how to manage your symptoms, or how to find hope for healing. And, for some, you might not even have a diagnosis to explain all that is going on with your body.
To sum it up, chronic illness can be as tough on the mind as it is on the body.
It is hard not to think about the “what-ifs.”
It is perfectly okay to go down that road and feel the feelings. But, when that thought process begins to become counter-productive, I have a reframe that has worked for me and many of my clients. It will not make your illness go away, but it will give you a plan to take on whatever comes your way. And, it will help to calm some of that overwhelming feeling.
How To Reframe When The Uncertainties Of Chronic Illness Become Overwhelming
One: Get Present
When feelings of overwhelm start to take over, take a moment to pause. Take a deep breath. Tune into the present moment. You are right here, right now.
two: Consider what is in your control and what is not
Once you center yourself in the present moment, begin to consider what is in your control and what is not. Don’t rush this part. If you have a chronic illness, there are likely many things that are outside of your control. But, recognize that there are a lot of things that are within your control. You can make choices about your life, your priorities, your healthcare, your providers, your support system, your lifestyle, your relationships, your work. The list goes on.
three: Consider what parts of your life might benefit from some focus, change or action in order to support your health and wellbeing.
It is a little harder to generalize this third step because each of us has different values, life circumstances, etc. However, the overarching consideration is looking at where you are versus where you want to be in all aspects of your life. This could mean anything from the physical, mental, social, spiritual, to professional aspects of your life. Check out Day 2 of my Chronic Wellness Challenge for a free assessment.
Another consideration is whether the support you are receiving is working for you. You can learn more about this in Day 5 of the Chronic Wellness Challenge or in my blog posts related to self-advocacy in daily life and in the healthcare system.
FOUR: Aim for clarity, not certainty
Once you determine where you want to focus your attention and take action, you will be able to prioritize where to focus your time, energy and effort. While you might not have certainty, you will have clarity.
You cannot magically make all of your worries go away. But, you can take steps to chip away at them one by one by focusing on what you CAN do. Once you have clarity and a plan to act upon, that is something tangible and proactive that you can utilize to balance your uncertainty.
To Gain More Clarity
For more clarity on what you uniquely need to thrive with chronic illness, accept my free 7-day Chronic Wellness Challenge!
My Story Of Uncertainty
I am uncertain about my lymphoma status. I am a cancer survivor. However, “cancer survivor” is almost the only cancer-related status that I know I fit in for sure. I know that I am “watchful waiting” after my third lymphoma diagnosis. But, I don’t know what is really going on inside my body. While I like to visualize that cancer is no longer at my party, I don’t know for sure.
The reason for this is that I haven’t been scanned in probably 10+ years. I have had too much radiation to my body to medically justify the risks of regular PET scans, etc. because those risks to my health outweigh the benefits. I can get MRIs, colonoscopies, mammograms, ultrasounds, x-rays - and, I do to the extent they are ordered. But, it is not advised that I receive anything more high powered than those tests unless I am having symptoms that warrant the risk of more radiation.
For a while, the uncertainty was pretty consuming if I let myself think about it too long. It was really hard to sit wondering if and when I will need to upend my life again to go through treatment. I think the looming possibility of another round of treatment and surgeries really inhibited me because it was hard to relax into my life.
But, at some point, it got old for me. I realized that I could live the rest of my life worrying about cancer, or I could live my life. I could take the actions I know I need to take to care for my underlying health and wellness - and put my mental energy into that instead of worrying. So, I did.
That is where I have landed. Not to say that I never worry. But, it is not part of my daily thoughts. For the last decade or so, worrying hasn’t resonated with me. What resonates is taking steps everyday to support my underlying health and wellness, to advocate for what I need to make that happen and to enjoy all the beautiful things in my life.
One of things I am most grateful for is the ability to share practical support with others living with their own uncertainties brought about by chronic illness. As they say, I am not curing cancer over here. But, I know I am adding value by helping others navigate their chronic illness journey. That means a lot to me. I know firsthand that there are many practical things that we can do to propel our health and wellness forward. And, I am grateful for the opportunity to do that as a health coach.
Though the uncertainties of chronic illness have the ability to make us feel overwhelmed, it's important to remember that we can each find a clearer path forward.
Focusing on what you have control over, assessing where changes can be made, and aiming for clarity instead of certainty can all balance out feeling overwhelmed with uncertainty. You don't have to go it alone. If you are feeling like you could use some support or encouragement, I invite you to explore ways to work with me either through my THRIVE coaching package or my Chronically Well Membership. We can work together to get you on the path to living Chronically Well!
What could focusing on clarity instead of certainty make possible for you?
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